Forgiveness

I have a love for non-fiction and for an interest to find the truth in everything. To me, fantasy and make-believe is a waste of time when I can be watching a documentary as to what truly happened from the mouths of those that lived it. Yesterday I was watching a documentary about a church that turned into a cult and one of the daughters was speaking about her mother. As this daughter was speaking about her mother, and remembering the beautiful nature of her mother, she said something that really stayed with me. She said the greatest treasure her mother ever gave her was the ability and example of forgiving others. Even after her husband was killed, this woman told her daughter that they needed to forgive the man that did it and release him. As a result of her mother's words and example in her life, the daughter did forgive the man that took her father. Later, the daughter would have to put those words into practice again and forgive her mother for taking her own life.

This made me reflect on how important my example is to others. I have many titles. I am a wife, daughter, sister, friend, mother, and grandmother. I have a lot of people watching me, and my words and actions have the impact to either line up with a life rooted in Jesus or to destroy my testimony of a life surrendered to Him. People that I care very much about are witnessing everything I say and do, and I want them to know my life is a reflection of the glory of God and His love and light dwelling within me and I want them to have the greatest treasure I have which is Jesus, and to know a life separated from Him is no life at all. They all know my life belongs to the Lord; you all know my life is the Lord's. I hope no one ever looks at me and wonders what I'm all about, because if I don't speak it, show it, and bear the fruits of a life rooted in Jesus, then there's a problem. Our fruits have to bear the characteristics of His Spirit and His Spirit is Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Gentleness, Faithfulness and Self Control.

That being said, we as disciples of Jesus cannot hold to half of the word of God as our compass then leave a portion of that out. His word is complete and meant to be life-giving when we accept all of it to be the truth. You cannot forgive anyone without the love of Jesus in you. He in us is the reason we can love unlovable people, and it is His love that allows us to forgive someone that has caused us deep pain. It is written that others will know us by our love. "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." John 13:33-35 If we stand against the command to love one another, we will never live the life He said we could have in Him. We will be lacking. Forgiving someone does not mean you are resolved to agree that their action was justified. Allowing Jesus to fill your heart with His love for everyone no matter how they treat you is all His work and none of ours. It is a surrender to His overwhelming love, not a surrender to the one that hurt you. It's all Him, not you. Forgiveness is the ability to allow the overwhelming love of Jesus to completely have His way in your heart and life. It is releasing your false control of your life to the One that has complete control. The love of Jesus will come rushing in and throw open a floodgate of emotion that is indescribable. Jesus wants to come in and have your heart so you can experience His love and see that He is the only one that will make this possible, this is why He keeps knocking.

The other day when faced with a difficult situation, my husband asked me, "How would your mother respond?" That was an easy answer. My mother is a beautiful example of a godly woman. She is truly a woman of grace and kindness and unity. Her family means the world to her. When she met my stepfather, her stipulations to him were to "love my daughters and go to church with me." Just so you know, he did all that and more. They are just the most beautiful example to us in our family, and Jeremy and I hope to always follow that example. My mother has taught me to be gentle with my children and grandchildren. That unity and peace is far more important than having everything go my way. Our children are all grown and when that happens, they add partners with more family to the mix. This may mean that holidays and family time is divided, and I no longer control where our children go any more. If I didn't have my mother's example and response of, "I'm thankful to get you when I can" I could cause even more division than just them going to the other side of the family. I could never have them, and that is something I could not even imagine. So now when faced with a situation where I won't have them all on a certain day, I change the day so we can all be together instead of being stubborn and saying it can only be on that specific day, or I am just thankful to be blessed with who could make it. Truly what matters most is peace and unity within our tribe, and for me to have a loving and accepting home where my children and grandchildren want to be. When love and grace is offered to everyone, then your table is crowded and they keep coming back. Love is a word with a lot of action behind it, and the love of Jesus is always focused on others, not us. It's not about me, and when we start with His love than you will find it is easy to stay in His love, and everyone around you will experience His love. He is the shalom in our home!

There are so many families that are divided right now for reasons they feel are justified. They hold on to the wrong instead of focus on the right. They withhold love as if it were to be earned. What a prison of lies they are in to think love is something to give or withhold according to their own standards of what love is. Scripture tells us what love is, and just like our salvation, it cannot be earned and it isn't by our works, it's the grace of God. In the words of Paul, if we do not have love, we have nothing. "Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends..." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 It was loving us so much that Jesus died on the cross for us while we were still sinners. If Jesus waited until we were worthy of His love, it would never happen. The Father did not withhold His Son until we earned Him. If you are withholding forgiveness because you haven't received what you think you deserve, just know, we all deserve to hang on the cross, and you don't want what you truly deserve. By your example of forgiving or not forgiving, you are showing your children and grandchildren who you are as a person and by your fruits or lack of them they will know you.

Pride is a rotten fruit of the spirit of darkness. The enemy makes us think that forgiveness is showing weakness, but we know that Jesus told us to forgive so if you want to call Jesus weak, I will go stand way over there............. Jesus was not weak. He was described as meek, and the biblical definition of meek is power under control. The ability to call down a heavenly host of power from on high to wipe you out, but the restraint not to. That kind of action would be the complete opposite of what He taught us. Judgement will come, but that's not now, now is when Jesus told us to love each other, forgive each other and show mercy towards each other. "And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, in whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, with all malice, and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." Ephesians 4:30-32

As a mother and grandmother, my example is my testimony. It is living out my faith with my actions. Jesus in me should be what they see, and it should all bring glory to Him. It is not by our own strength that we have love for others, but that His love is so rich in mercy and grace that we overflow with it. Like the oil on the head of Aaron running over and trickling down, it is this kind of trickle-down effect our example of His love should be for our families. This is why unity is likened to the oil, because when it is poured out in abundance it flows in such a way that you cannot contain it. As if the oil has a life of its own and just keeps coming down as a gift from above just as every good thing comes down from the Father of Lights, so the oil of peace, love, and unity flows down from the Lordly and righteous example of the love of Jesus to others. "It is like the precious oil on the head, that ran down on the beard, even on Aaron's beard, that came down on the edge of his robes." Psalm 133:2 How good and how pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity.